Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend

She is pretty great. I could write a super long list but I would most likely leave out about 1000 things. She is my Hetro-life mate. We have way too much fun together. When we are together we always laugh until we cry. She gets me in a way no one else does and I love her for that. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.
So yes my dear Cassie-Cassie I think you are beyond fabulous. Who knew that sitting waiting for kids on a park bench would lead to years of wonderful friendship. Thanks for always being here for me, for being my wing woman, for always taking one for the team. For all the wonderful memories we have made and the ones still to come. I <3 you.

"Oh Yeah" "LeLand Err" "Don't you be frickin pickin up the toilet lid"

You truly are my soul mate and best friend!!

Emails like this make me happy

Hey Guys...thinking a lot about you! We are baking up one of the most delicious records...your ears will hardly be able to take it...it will be so pleasurable!

It's been so fun being together everyday. We started writing at Tony's studio in his house. We just moved to a real studio in the Valley and it makes it all feel like it's finally happening. We're recording the first batch of songs that we wrote now and after this we're gonna go right back in and write some more.

Wouldn't have gotten to this point without all of you coming out to see us on the Summer Tour. You are so inspiring! Gonna tweet you pictures and keep you updated. We need your vibes! Check out some more news down below...

Love,
Gwen & My Boys (the No Doubt ones)


Now all I need is a release date and I'm all set. Can't wait to hear all the fabulous new music to continue the soundtrack of my life :)

And then life punches you in the face

My day was going normal. I had just gotten out of the shower. I noticed I had a missed call and thought it was someone about a job application I submitted last week. I started listening to the message. It was my doctor. You see last week I decided to do something I have been avoiding for about 7 years now. I went to the dermatologist. The first time I went in high school it was so tramatic I never wanted to go again. 
So I womaned up and went. Sitting there in one of those itchy gowns waiting for the doctor to come it was beyond nerve-racking. So she came in checked everything out and decided two spots had to go one on my nose and one on my ankle. Nothing to be too worried about. 
Then I got the phone call. She said that  the skin on my nose came out fine but my ankle was another story. She said that she would like to perform a proceedure to take out more skin around the spot and a little deeper into it. She said that I will be left with stitches and an inch and half to two inch scar on my leg. Then she will send in those cells to make sure nothing else is abnormal. If it is I have to go back for more treatment. If not I am semi home free. 
Talk about a wake up call. This has made me realize how little time we have on this planet. I need to focus on different things. I need to live life. To stop worrying about the unimportant. I am glad that I did have the courage to go to the doctor because if I would have waited it would be worse. They caught this early. I still have a chance to live and I am going to. I am not going to worry about if he likes me, or that work sucks, or that I have a scar on my leg. I'm a live. And I am going to life to the fullest and be happy. 

In my head

Why is it always easier to believe the bad rather than the good? There are little thoughts that keep occupying my brain. Doubts and questions that are on repeat. I want them to stop but I don't know how. For three years i was with a man who fed off my insecurities. I would confide in him and he would use it against me. Everday I was fat, ugly, and dumb. After three years it really took a toll. I believed it to be true. Then one day I had my "ah ha" moment. I realized that I was fine and he was just telling me these things because he wasn't secure with himself. He needed to put me down in order to feel better about himself. 
I still have problems hearing the good stuff though. No matter how many times i get told im pretty or smart or those great things friends tell you because they are so supportive and wonderful i dont believe them. For some reason my brain doesn't take it to heart as much as the bad. 
I am trying to change my way of thinking though. Cause deep down I know the truth. I'm freaking great!!! I know I am on the right track by surrounding myself with positive people who make me happy. I honestly have the best friends in the world.   

My new outlook on life

There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can't ride to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I'm feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all I can choose my thoughts. 
Taken from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love

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If you would have asked me at the start of 2010 what the year had in store for me I would have answered like this: Todd and I will be engaged and living in whatever town he can get a job in. I was lying to myself and everyone else. I was not happy with that situtation. So I did the scariest thing I have ever done. 
I left
I realized I was depending on this person for my happiness and he wasn't capable of providing it for me. Since I have left I know it is my own responsibility to provide the happiness. I know now that I am capable of providing that happiness for myself. Because I am happy. 
I have not laughed and smiled so much in my life. I am sure living with my best friend helps that a lot. We laugh and giggle more than anyone I know. We laugh so hard it brings us to tears on a daily basis.
So what's in store for the rest of 2010. I have no idea. But I do know i'm going to have fun, live life, and be fabulous. Oh and go back to law school :)