Sunday, July 25, 2010

A new beginning

The letter that changed my life. 

Friday I was closing at work and I got a text from Cassie saying she got a letter from Santa Barbara college of law. I've been wait for this letter for a month and a half.
After thinking that my application was submitted and ready for review I recieved an email about a month ago informing me they needed my transcript from wsu and from Chico state as well as a letter of standing. I thought I had already submitted these items and was under a lot of stress cause they needed to get to the school asap because my application was going to a special commitee for further review. A process that I thought did not sound very promising. 
After complying with all their requests I checked the mail daily for a responds. I somehow forgot that I gave the school the po box rather than our physical address or else I would have recieved the results faster. 

So back to the text. Cassie told me they sent me something. For the next twenty minutes at work I was a wreck. I was shaking and trying to get everyone to get everything done so I could go home and read my fate. Would I get a second chance of becoming a lawyer or was I destined to work various jobs that were meaningless to me for the rest of my life? 

I sped home. I texted Cassie in the car (something I try to never ever ever do because of how dangerous it is). I asked if it was a small or large envelope. Small equals doom large equals success. She wouldn't tell me. I thought about how I could put a positive spin on a rejection letter. I hit every red light. That five minute drive home felt like hours. 

I ran into the house she handed me the letter. It was small. Doom. I sat down not wanting to read the results. Shaking. This is it I thought. This is them rejecting me. I'm never going to have a career that I will love. I will always wonder what my life would have been like if I was an attorney. 

I opened it. I didn't even read it. I lost the ability to comprehend words. I scanned for key phrases. The first sentance made it sound as though my life was over. But when I finally had enough brain power to put together words again I realized they were informing me that I did in fact get into law school!!!!!

I cried, Cassie screamed, I screamed, and I wad still shaking. I called my grandma. I longed for Josh to be off work so I could call him to, but settled for a text instead. I was and still am so excited. 

How many people get to say they get a second chance at living their dream? I no longer have to say my biggest regret is dropping out of law school. Nothing is going to stop me this time. I have the support of my family, my friends, and my boyfriend. Nothing will get in my way. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and if I hadn't gone through what I have in the past three years I don't think I could fully appreciate what's been given to me.
Monica said it all when she texted me this. It made me cry even more "I am so happy for you and so is chris we are really proud of what you have done since you left todd. You have started this new and amazing life for yourself :X"
She is so right and I am never going to forget how truely close I was to giving up on myself. I will never give up on myself. Karma wins yet again. 

In less than one month I will officailly be a law student again. I couldn't be happier. :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Things I learned over the weekend

The boyfriend came to visit. It was his first time here in Santa barbara. Cassie and I took advantage of having a driver and we packed the weekend full of fun activities. 

1. Wine tasting is as fun as it sounds. 
2. Pilazzo (most likely being spelled wrong) has amazing food and even more amazing 48oz pomoagrante martinis
3. When boyfriend asks if youre sure you need another drink you probably don't need one
4. He says he doesn't dance but he does
5. Rollercoasters are still scary. 
6. Working while the boyfriend is at home makes the day drag, especially if he is leaving the next day.
7. You can fit a lot of sight seeing into an hour 
8. Crush cakes cupcakes can survive a plan ride
9. Letting him go back to the airport is the hardest thing ever.
10. I have the best boyfriend and best hetro life mate.  I'm a very lucky lady

 

Friday, July 9, 2010

Randomness...As Usual

This week at work was insanely busy. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that someone made the schedule who didn't know what they were doing. I left late every single day. But oh well at least I got extra hours right?
Which brings me to my next point. Why don't people fill out their deposit and withdrawal slips? Do people think we have them in three different locations in the branch for show? It really irritates me when there is a line to the door and someone comes up and their like "I want $60." Ok do you have a withdrawal slip filled out? NOOOOO. So you were just waiting in line for 10-15 minutes not doing anything?!?! REALLYYYY. I get it if you don't know your account number. I don't know mine either. It doesn't take much effort to find it. It does however take effort to do all of the work for you. I have to figure out proper spelling of YOUR name. I have to figure out how much money YOU want from YOUR account. And then I have to ask for YOUR signature. This whole process can take you less than 30 seconds while it takes me a minute to a minute and a half. Which in turn means an even longer wait time for other customers. The whole thing would work a lot better if you did your part. K thanks!
Other than work being crazy there's not a whole lot else to report 4th of July was fun. It consisted of me and Cassie meeting friends at the harbor and watching fireworks. The next day we went to Eclipse. I am torn between Edward and Jacob. I guess that means I understand where Bella is coming from. Although my decision is fully physical. Wow I sound super nerdy talking about this.
Some day No Doubt is going to announce their album release date. And that will be the happiest day of my life. At least until the album gets released. Then after I grow up a bit I am sure it will stay in the top 10 happiest moments of my life...
Which makes me wonder what are the happiest moments. Let's see:
1. Being front row at the No Doubt concert
2. My 21st Birthday
3. Valentine's Day the year Tessa was my Valentine
4. High School graduation
5. The day I got my Yaris
6. My 16th birthday including the tping the night before (if you read this Mandy we totally tped your house)
7. The first night I hung out with Cassie outside of work ("are you an astronaut cause your pants are out of this world")
8. Grandpa coming to pick me up from Chico after my car accident and we talked and laughed and it was just the two of us on the way back to Sac (every time I drive past this rose bush on 99 I think about how he told me how beautiful he thought they were)
9. Every night out with Cassie
10. The first time he kissed me and every kiss after that (wow that's super cheesy who cares it's true)

Ok I think that's enough with the random. I hope the two people that read this enjoyed it. This time next week Boyfriend will be up in the air flying in to see me cause he is so amazingly wonderful :)

Monday, July 5, 2010

Makes you think

These next few songs are from Bobby Gaylore read them if you want or don't but they hold some truths and make you think :)



Animals don't have a choice.
If they're not happy with their place in the world... too bad.
They have to live the life they've been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don't have to.
We have a choice.
If you don't like your place in the world
you can get off anytime you want.
Suicide. That's right.
You don't like the way your life's going,
you don't like the way you are in the world,
anything around you,
you can check out anytime you like.
Animals aren't allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There'd be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.

Zebras... if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, "What the F*#K!
Black & white in a green & brown world... this blows.
I'm just gonna jump in the river.... I don't have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife or even open a jar of pills. I'm just gonna dive into the next lion's mouth. Why even bother?"
Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do.
Now, there's a bunch of people that say, "Oh, it's against the law". Well, it's only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught.
Other people say, "Oh, we should save them". Yeah, well you know what? Not everybody wants to be saved. Not everybody should be saved. And who are we to force our will upon them?
I mean, isn't that one of the joys about being a human? Freedom of choice? Now, it's not all bad.
Now, I'm not saying "Kill yourself". But if you're gonna be an idiot and do it anyway, it's no sweat off of my back. There's a lot of good that could come from it. A little bit of bad thrown in. Some of the things: A job will open... An apartment will become available... There'll be more air for me... They say there's two girls for every guy - if you're a man, there'll be four chicks for me... There'll be more Ketel One vodka for me... There'll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King slips filled out... I won't ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips and have the clerk point at you and say, "They bought the last bag".... You won't help change the McDonald's sign to a Hundred Billion Served... You'll never get AIDS... You won't have to worry about calories ever... No more, "Hey, does this make me look fat?"... There'll be one less polluting human...You won't have to recycle... There'll be one less car on the road... There'll be more Ring Dings for me... Fifty or so chickens' lives will be spared... Your fingers won't ever get red from eating pistachios... You won't be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore... No more church... You'll be saying, "Hey, World - Kiss My Ass!"... No more wet dreams about Supermodels... No more Barry Manilow... For a few years anyway... Wondering "Am I a loser?" will be a thing of the past... Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles... You won't have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion... F*#K flossing and brushing... You'll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare... Adios, Acne... Worrying whether you fit in or not won't be on your brain... See ya later, homework... You'll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park... Schools out forever.... No more paying bills... You won't have to do chores... You won't be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though...
You'll also miss McDonald's French Fries...
Bugs Bunny...
The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time...
You won't be able to watch the letterbox director's cut of Jaws...
Candy...
Living above ground...
Pudding crust...
You'll miss the rush of getting your first apartment...
Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to "F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes....you did"...
You'll miss sex - you'll miss thinking about it, looking for it, sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners... No more summer nights that seem to go on forever...
Roller coasters....
Naming your kid the name you always wanted...
Making a difference in the world...
You'll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics...
Watching your neighbor's wife change clothes with her blinds open...
A lifetime of masturbating...
Watching your favorite team sweep the series...
Music...
You will definitely miss music...
Trying to sneak into your house drunk - three hours past your curfew...
You'll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks...
The taste of Captain Crunch...
If you're a boy, you'll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl's shirt... If you're a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy's pants... You'll miss your favorite coat...
Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries...
Beating your friends at video games...
You won't be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be...
You'll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love - thirty years after the fact...
The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas...
Skinny dipping...
Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin...
Flying cars...
Hey, you were born - Finish what was started.




AND ON TO THE NEXT INSPIRATIONAL SONG

Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...
You're not as fat as you Imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you're ahead,
Sometimes You're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your
Life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can... Don't be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own...

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there
For you.
And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings;
They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Vacation!!

My vacation
With work making so I can't earn anymore vacation time over a certain number of hours I decided to take some time off so I could get all the vacation I deserve. So off to Sacramento I went. 
The drive was aweful as expected. But I survived thanks to a rockstar. Upon my arrival a lovely gentleman took me to dinner at the cheesecake factory where I had the best salad ever. It had mango and cucumber and was fabulous. 
The next couple days were spent spending time with friends from high school and catching up on old times and discovering what was new. 
I went to the San Francisco zoo with Josh which was pretty entertaining. :)
I went to Chico to spend some time with Monica and Chris. While there I realized how much I missed that little town of mine. That town gave me my first chance to be free. But I have grown and moved on to way better things since then. 
I returned back to Sacramento where I had lunch with Cheryl and Lauri. We used to work at the park together and grew super close through what life has dealt us. Lauri is six month pregnant with her first child and couldn't look cuter. I am so happy for her and her husband. And I have learned that Cheryl means positive and perserver. That woman can do anything. And she's still smiling. She is such an inspiration. Lunch was amazing. Four hours flew by like ten minutes. And I got to feel the baby kick!
That night Tessa came into town so we had a reuion with our old roomie Kristen. Then Tessa, Josh, and I attempted to go dancing with the wifey and her fiancé but that failed. We still had fun hanging out and chatting. I can't wait for Courtney's wedding next month :)
The next day was a lazy one. Me and Tessa headed back over to kristens and relaxed watching tv and laughing.
Then it was time to head back to Santa Barbara on Sunday. 
Overall it was a pretty good vacation. I got to spend some time with my amazing friends. It was also nice to get a surprise visit from my uncles!! An added bonus is that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. I couldn't ask for someone better. He is super sweet, caring, and genuine. I'm pretty lucky :)