Life Lately

Life lately has been super hectic. This is a warning now that this blog post is going to random and scattered, kinda like my life lately. We are officially moved into our new apartment. 2 bedrooms 1.5 baths and tons of space. Cassie and I couldn’t be happier. We each have our own rooms and have similar decorating styles so we are excited to unpack and get the furniture all put together so we can make our house a home. Pretty much all Cassie and I talk about lately is how awesome we are, how great life is, and how we love our new place.
Also school has kept me insanely busy. Like right now I should be writing a case brief but I am typing this instead. We all need a little break now and then. I am learning a lot in each of my classes. When I start to feel lazy I gently remind myself how hard I had to work to get here and I am one of the lucky few people in life who gets a second chance at their dream and I can’t blow it. I won’t let myself. Cassie won’t let me. Josh won’t let me. I can’t let my grandma down.
This time around I have support. I have a roommate who is excited. She lets me tell her about the cases that I read. She tells me when I need to stop talking and study instead. While we in the studio she left for a couple hours because she knew how important studying was. I have the greatest boyfriend ever. If he finds out I’m busy with school work he simply says “ok babe, have fun let me know when you are done.” I won’t even repeat what the old one would say because it’s not appropriate. Just by Josh saying something so simple (and what most people’s reactions would be) makes me so happy. It takes huge amounts of stress off of me. I don’t have to feel guilty for doing something for my future.
This is where it is going to get random. The month of September always reminds me of my little sister. Not Melissa. My other little sister that live in Washington. The one I haven’t seen since she was 5. She is turning 13 this month. I was thinking that if I pasted her on the street I wouldn’t know what she looks like. I wouldn’t know it was her. This breaks my heart. I want to be there for my little sister. To support her and offer her advice and be her friend. And I can’t.
I choose to not have contact with my father. He is not a person I need in my life. He only calls when he needs something from me. He has never been a father to me. My grandfather was my father. Regardless of this Sheri is still my sister. I want to get to know her. I don’t know how. Her mother is just as poisonous as my dad. She is vindictive and will jump through hoops to better herself while making other look horrible. I do not know if she will let me speak with my sister if I tried to contact her. I don’t even know how I would reach her. I just want to get to know this growing person. I want to know if she is like me. Does she look like me? Does she act like me? Does she like the same things I do? Hopefully someday I will know the answer.

For now I will just keep living my wonderful life here in Santa Barbara and hopefully someday my questions will be answered.